My husband and I text back and forth through out the day. Little things like “How’s your day?” “We need dog food.” “Tonight we have girl scouts.” Today it was, “My truck needs an oil change.” This wasn’t news to me. Ben’s truck has needed an oil change for several weeks (or months) now. Being the husband he is, it has taken a back seat to other expenses that keep popping up – sports pictures, girl scout cookies, trips to the ER… Kids are expensive.
This time though, he reminded me he has to travel next week so we can’t put it off again. We really shouldn’t have pushed it off this long, and I’m incredibily thankful we haven’t caused any problems for his truck. Regular maintenance matters.
I realized this about a week ago when my husband and I went out for a date. Things were off. He was trying to joke around. I kept getting my feelings hurt. I would talk about something and he would get offended by it. Things were tense. Finally, the floodgates broke, and we talked about what our relationship looked like when we first got married, when I was working, even when we were dating, and ways that we cared about one another. I shared things that Ben used to do that really made me feel important to him and he shared some habits that I picked up that didn’t make him feel good. We talked and laughed and near the end of the conversation, Ben looked at me completely serious and said “You know we’re going to have this conversation again in six months, or a year, and every year after that. I won’t always get it right.”
We’re going to need a tune up. Change out the bad, put in good. My relationship with my children is the same way. Chloe and I had been at odds recently. At just 6 years old, she was on her way to becoming a full blown drama mama and my patience just couldn’t handle it. While her behavior wasn’t okay, my attitude wasn’t helping her change. One night Chloe and I sat on her bed and just talked. I told her how much I loved her. I told her about how smart and brave and funny and beautiful I thought she was. I told her how happy I was to be her mom. And then I told her that I wanted us to be happy together and we talked about what we could do to make things better.
Psalm 51:10 says “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” It’s a cry for a tune up. It’s easy to put it on the back burner. We get busy just trying to get everywhere we need to be, that we overlook the relationships that got us there in the first place. So here’s a little reminder, take a moment, take five minutes, take a breath, and see what needs a tune up!