Family

3 things I want my kids to practice when dating

There’s a young man at our church that is a prince in my eyes.  He’s a member of the young adult ministry my husband leads so he and his friends hang out with our family quite often.  Both of our children have taken up with him, like, they both will help clean up their rooms if they know he is coming over with the other young adults.

What I value is the way he responds to our children.  He is never rude or impatient with them, even when Chloe is showing him her complete collection of shopkins for the 4th time or asking him to dress up princesses on her tablet with her.  I jokingly told someone the other day that I wouldn’t have to worry about Chloe dating until this young man chooses a relationship with a blessed lady his own age.  When Chloe (or her brother for that matter) chooses to date, there are 3 things (at least) that I hope they will do as they search for “the one.”

  1. Pray, and pray some more.  I know this is the Sunday School answer, but it’s true.  One of my prayers for our children is for their future spouse.  I hope to instill in my children to pray for the same.  More than that, I hope that my children find someone who is doing the same.  A relationship will only thrive with God in it, and if they can’t pray separately, they sure won’t pray together.
  2. Set boundaries.  This is one I feel very passionately about, and I wish more married couples would practice.  With communication so easy thanks to technology, too many people have gotten too free in their conversations.  One of the boundaries I have with my husband, I don’t text or call other men.  He didn’t ask me to set this boundary, it’s one I set out of respect for him. When I do text or call someone besides him,  it’s related to a specific question, not just to chat (and he still knows about it).  When a problem comes up, there’s no temptation to turn to another male to solve it.  Best to avoid that slippery slope altogether instead of trying to catch a foothold sliding down.
  3. Compliment each other.  Y’all remember the year “epic fail” became the top catchphrase?  Right along with SMH and OMG…  Our society enjoys a gif, a meme, or a 6 second video of someone else’s most embarrassing moment.  The more embarrassing, the more likely that moment will be captured in a buzzfeed top ten.  We need encouragement.  Nothing is as reassuring as a wife as when my husband compliments me in public, even when it’s something small like sharing my blog on facebook.  While it’s not the only way he shows he cares, it’s a pretty awesome feeling when my husband shares how much he values something I’ve done or how proud he is of something I’ve accomplished.  In the same way, he smiles a little bigger when I do the same for him.  It’s something that I hope my kids see enough of in us, that it is natural for them in their own relationships.
In a world that often values relationships as nothing more than a status update on Facebook, I want my children to have a relationship of  great worth…  someday, like when they’re 30  😉

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